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Discussing Estate Planning with Your Loved Ones

On Behalf of | Aug 31, 2023 | Estate Plan, Estate Planning, Family Planning, Family Support, Mediation

Let’s face it – talking about estate planning can be a touchy subject. But the truth is, having an open conversation with your family about your wishes is essential for a smooth transition when the time comes. As attorneys specializing in estate planning, we’re here to help you navigate this sensitive topic. In this blog post, we’ll share some valuable insights and tips to help you broach the subject of estate planning with your loved ones in a thoughtful and productive way. Here are 10 tips to get you started!


  1. Choose the Right Time and Place: Timing is everything. Find a comfortable and relaxed setting where you can have an uninterrupted conversation. Avoid discussing estate planning during family gatherings or events that might add unnecessary pressure or distractions. It’s your estate plan, so your wishes take priority.


  1. Start with the Basics: Begin the conversation by explaining what estate planning is and why it matters. Keep it simple and relatable. You can mention that estate planning involves making decisions about your assets, medical care, and more, to ensure your wishes are respected when you’re unable to express them.


  1. Emphasize the “Why”: Share your motivations for wanting to discuss estate planning. Whether it’s about providing for your family’s future, minimizing potential conflicts, or supporting causes you care about, explaining your reasons can make the conversation more meaningful. It can also help your family understand why you are making these decisions.


  1. Be Transparent About Your Wishes: That brings us to the next tip – express your thoughts openly and honestly. Let your family know what you’ve already planned or what you’re considering. Discuss how you want your assets to be distributed, who you’ve chosen as beneficiaries, and any specific requests you have.


  1. Listen and Address Concerns: Encourage your loved ones to share their thoughts, concerns, and questions, especially if you are considering appointing them to be in charge of financial or medical decisions. Active listening is crucial – take the time to understand their perspectives and provide clear explanations to address any misconceptions.


  1. Involve Professionals: This is where we come in! Mention that you’re seeking advice from professionals to ensure your estate plan is legally sound. This can help alleviate worries about the complexity of the process and show that you’re taking a responsible approach. With all of the DIY estate planning options out there that are subpar, having professional assistance will make the estate planning process much smoother.


  1. Respect Differing Opinions: Remember that your family members might have different viewpoints or expectations. Be open to their suggestions and willing to find common ground where possible. Estate planning is a collaborative effort. Your wishes have absolute priority, but if you think compromise can avoid conflict then that’s important to consider as well.


  1. Consider a Facilitator: Sometimes, people don’t want to go into these conversations alone/ If you anticipate tension or conflicts, consider involving a neutral third party to facilitate the conversation. This could be a financial planner, attorney, a family therapist, or even a family friend who can keep the conversation productive and respectful if you think there is an increased risk for conflict.


  1. Provide Written Information: After your initial conversation, share written materials or resources that your family can review at their own pace. This can help them digest the information and come back with more informed questions.This is especially helpful if you would like them to handle your financial or medical decisions and they are unsure of what that would entail.


  1. Revisit the Conversation: Estate planning isn’t a one-time discussion. Regularly revisit the topic as circumstances change – marriages, births, deaths, and other life events can impact your plans. Keeping the lines of communication open ensures that everyone is on the same page.


Talking about estate planning with your family may feel daunting, but it’s a crucial step in ensuring your wishes are respected and your loved ones are prepared. We help clients in these exact situations every day, and we understand the importance of these conversations. If you need guidance or have questions about starting this dialogue, our team is here to help. Remember, an open and honest discussion today can lead to a more harmonious future for everyone involved.